Wednesday, December 30, 2020

The New Year is nearly here, be careful with those resolutions

 

This Year I R esolve...

 

 Ada had just finished writing her New Year’s resolutions and was letting Aunt Mae look over them.

Mae was amazed that it was only one page. On past years they had run to three and four pages and none of them ever were accomplished. Mae, on the other hand, never wrote any of hers down. She felt they were nobody’s business but her own. She had no such qualms with her niece. She was actually more than her niece; she was also her God-daughter and as such Mae had a moral responsibility to assist in raising her. Lord knew her parents did very little in that area. They either turned her over to the nanny or let her run loose like a heathen.

Nobody could figure out if Ada was just precocious or a bit addled in the head. She always seemed to lean towards the latter.

The first resolution was to take in all the stray cats from the neighborhood.

“Ada, you already have ten cats and two of them are pregnant. Why on earth would you want more?”

“Well Aunt Mae, they just wander around looking for food and their fur is all matted. They need a good home.”

“That may well be, but they don’t need a good home here. Besides, you don’t have room for more cats. We’ll just strike this one off.”

Ada’s shoulders slumped and her lower lip began to quiver.

Aunt Mae seeing this said, “What if we modify it to say you will help find good homes for the stray cats?”

Ada perked up at this and nodded her head vigorously. “Alright, what is this next resolution? Become a vegetarian.

A vegetarian? Ada, you don’t even like vegetables and you know what this would do to your Father and Mother, not to mention the cook. This one we definitely have to strike.”

“Alright.”

“Wait, do you even understand what resolutions are? They are something that you feel strongly about changing in your life.” “I did feel strongly about it until you reminded me I didn’t like vegetables. At that point it didn’t seem too important.” 

“Resolution number three – try to take more walks. I don’t see anything wrong with that one, it can stay.”

“Look at number four; I think you’ll like that one.”

“Learn Esperanto. Ada you already know German, French and a smattering of Latin. Why do you want to learn Esperanto?” 

“Well, Aunt Mae, Esperanto is going to be the universal language one day and if I already know it I’ll be that much ahead and be able to talk to anybody about anything because we will have a common language.”

“Well do it if you want to; I think it’s a complete waste of time.” Mae read down the list. There were a few throw away resolutions like be nicer to Mother and Father, write to cousin Edith more often, innocuous things like that. Towards the bottom of the page she saw, “Become a suffragette.”

Mae pointed to the offending line and asked, “Do you really think that women should be able to vote?”

“Don’t you?”

Mae was taken aback by the directness of the question but then stammered out, “No, of course not; we never have before.” “Times are changing Aunt Mae. Men fly through the air, we talk over vast distances with the Marconi, we have refrigeration and no longer rely on the ice man. We even have indoor plumbing.”

“I don’t see what any of those has to do with women voting.

Women need to remember their place. No man is looking for an uppity wife.”

“Or opinionated old biddies,” she said under her breath. 

“What was that?”

“I just said I suppose you are right.” 

“We’ll just scratch this one off then.” With a swipe of her pen it was gone.

“The rest of your list looks fine to me. Why don’t you go to the study and write it out fresh; it’s quite a mess now.”

“Yes, Aunt Mae,” she said with a smile.

How many times had she pasted that smile on her face for her aunt? Too many to count, but this was the last year she would have to put up with her. This year she would turn eighteen and come into a quarter of her trust fund. The day after her birthday she was leaving for Europe. She could see the scene already. Aunt Mae would have a fit because she couldn’t see an unaccompanied girl traipsing around Europe.

It was actually going to be her and her cousin Edith, but Aunt Mae didn’t need to know that. It would cost her two first class tickets and some luggage, but it would be worth it to get rid of her.

It was a simple plan – two sets of luggage, one with her

clothes and one empty... two sets of first class tickets, one set for Ireland and the other set for England. The timing was going to be the hard part unless she drugged her aunt. That would make sure her aunt was well out to sea before she could stir up any trouble. A little laudanum in her tea and then Ada could slip off of the ship and catch up with Edith and head for England. By the time her aunt woke up they would have gone their separate ways.

Ada went to study and crumpled up the list of resolutions.

She knew that suffragette one would get to her. She patted her skirt pocket that had her real list. It only had one item on it. Get free of the old biddy at any cost.

She sat down and began to write a letter to Edith and outline the plan. She smiled that secret smile, knowing that Aunt Mae thought her a half-wit.

 

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